Slander and Gossip

I’ve been listening to Chip Ingram’s sermons lately. They’re awesome! (I highly recommend downloading the Chip Ingram app.)

The other day, I heard a sermon on slandering and gossiping about people. Chip said that you slander someone any time you talk about him and the person you’re talking to thinks less of him after your conversation than before it. 

Wow. That’s hard. 

I heard that a couple of weeks ago and I’ve really been trying to watch what I say since then. So many times, I’ve left a conversation and then realized what I’d just said about someone and then asked for forgiveness. It’s happened a bunch in just a couple of weeks! It’s really tough, but I’m going to keep working on it. It’s so important! 

Slandering is definitely not loving, but Christians do it all the time. Imagine what people would see in Christians if we could stop slandering others! It’s something people would definitely notice and hopefully admire. 

I hope you choose to work on this with me!
Featured image from LinkedIn.com

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Protest Confusion

I guess that I just don’t get it maybe? I hope that someone can help me understand.

Maybe that’s the root of the division in this recent issue… we just don’t understand each other.

I have no problem with people protesting for what they believe in. That is our right, as Americans. I just don’t think the point is getting across. I think there is a miscommunication happening.

To me, the flag represents America as a whole. The National Anthem and the flag remind me that soldiers have given their lives for our country.

It seems to me that those protesting during the National Anthem have a different understanding of these things. Maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t see how the National Anthem or the flag have anything at all to do with racism or Donald Trump or police officers or division.

The NFL players who are taking a knee are supposed to be protesting police brutality right?

Well, I’m sorry to tell you, protestors, that is not what the rest of the country is getting from this. Apparently, you see the flag as representing the president and representing police officers (maybe?). The people that you are trying to influence with your protest see the flag as representing fallen soldiers, our country as a whole, and freedom (like your freedom to protest).

So maybe you can protest what you want to protest in a way that makes sense to the rest of the country. I don’t think most people are angry that you are protesting for what you believe in, we just feel that you are disrespecting our country because you are seeing our patriotic symbols as something that they’re not.

And if you’re not seeing the symbols as something else… if you are taking a knee even though you realize that you are disrespecting our military and your fellow Americans… then I agree with Trump. You should be fired. And you should be taught a lesson about what kinds of sacrifices were made in order for you to have the privileges you have. 

I could be wrong. I don’t know much about the issue, honestly. Maybe there is less miscommunication than I think. I’d love to understand… so feel free to comment and explain this all to me a little better!

That’s the goal, right? To help everyone understand the issues!

Featured image from Commons.wikimedia.org

What To Do When Your Realize Life Will End

I’m sure that you’ve heard about all of the heartbreaking natural disasters occurring lately.

I hope that they don’t make you ask where God is. Because He’s here and He’s working. He doesn’t want to see us suffer. He doesn’t want bad things to happen (which happen because humans are sinners- see this post for more on that), but He’s using the tragedies to teach lessons and to turn hearts toward him.

I hope that you are realizing your mortality and that tomorrow is not promised.

I hope that you see that you can’t endure the hardships of this world without God. Continue reading

Grace is for Everyone

I’ve been struggling for a while with my attitude toward certain people. I haven’t felt like helping people who aren’t trying to get out of their situations on their own. Which was probably a result of the work that I do as a home visitor, but it also made my job more difficult. I wasn’t putting all of my effort in for my clients when I didn’t feel like they were thankful and they weren’t helping themselves. 

So, I’ve asked God to help me change my attitude over the past few months. I wasn’t understanding why I should try so hard for people who aren’t trying for themselves. So today, I don’t even remember exactly what I was praying about, but I was asking God to help some people even though they don’t deserve it. 

Then I said “ohh…”

That’s why I need to help people. Because of grace. 

Grace is giving people what they don’t deserve. And it’s how God shows His love to us. So if I want to show God’s love to others, then I need to be pouring out grace to them. 

I’ve always understood grace and I’ve been thankful for the grace of God, but I guess that I didn’t fully understand it. Or maybe I just forgot what it was supposed to look like. 

Either way, today I realized that grace is not only giving people what they don’t deserve, but it’s also giving to people who are undeserving. It’s not just for the people who I like or who are trying (so being a little bit deserving) or who are thankful. I need to show grace to everyone

Now the hard part: applying what I realized. 
Featured image from Victoryus.org. 

7 Relationship Mistakes to Avoid

I work with people, so naturally, I hear a lot about relationships. I hear about relationships in all aspects of my life, really. So, I’ve made a list of some things to avoid in relationships based on what I’ve seen in the people around me (it’s always easier to see problems and solutions in someone else’s life!)

So, here we go. Here are some mistakes to avoid making in your romantic relationships.

Mistake #1: Not communicating.

I know, I know, you’ve heard this one before. But have you ever really thought about communication? Yes, talk about your feelings with your partner and tell them what you’re upset about and have honest and clear conversations. But communication also involves listening. That’s the part we forget sometimes. We might be ready to pour out our hearts, but we need to be ready to listen to our spouse’s heart too. Listen and be ready to take what your partner is telling you seriously.

Mistake #2: Not knowing or considering your significant other’s love language.

If you haven’t read The 5 Love Languages, do. If you refuse to read it, at least take the quiz for you and your partner online and read a little synopsis of the languages. The idea of the love languages makes a lot of sense, but I’ve actually seen a lack of understanding of them affect marriages. I see people who need quality time with their spouses and they don’t realize it because it’s not what they need. Some people give their all in a relationship, like buying their husband or wife endless gifts, but their partner doesn’t respond because he or she doesn’t communicate love that way. It’s amazing to see how a relationship can change once a couple discovers what each other needs to feel loved.

Mistake #3: “We don’t have a problem. We’re doing fine.”

If your significant other says that there is a problem, then there is a problem. Please don’t brush it off as nothing just because you are perfectly happy with how life is going. Your relationship is going to be awfully rocky if you don’t take your partner’s concerns seriously and if you are only working toward your own personal happiness. And eventually, your partner’s unhappiness will lead to your unhappiness.

Mistake #4: Bringing up the past.

If you feel like an argument from the past is not fully settled or that something your partner did is still bothering you, have a conversation about it. Do not bring it up during a fight about something else. Sometimes, every fight starts to come full circle to “that thing you did that really hurt me.” That is not solving anything.

Mistake #5: Making ending a marriage an option.

Don’t give yourself an escape route so you don’t have to work through the hard parts of marriage. Read this post for more about this mistake.

Mistake #6: Giving up on trying.

It’s heartbreaking to see people reach this point. I don’t blame people for wanting to stop trying when their spouse is not putting any effort in, but if you give up, then there is no hope for the relationship. Try everything. See a marriage counselor. See one by yourself until your spouse is willing to go too, if you have to. Never stop trying to communicate what is bothering you (without being naggy or mean). Read resources, watch videos, make a plan, pray about it, talk to someone who has been through the same thing… just do everything you can… because it is that important.

Mistake #7: Making something other than God the center of your relationship.

Nothing could make your relationship stronger than putting God at the center of it. If both of your eyes are on God, then you’ll both be moving in the same direction. Just because you have a Christian marriage does not mean everything is going to be perfect, but you will always have a reason to keep trying! God can strengthen your relationship, encourage you to not sin against your partner, and lead you both on the same path. God can do anything, including save a broken marriage (with some effort on your part). Remember, if you, your spouse, and God are at the three points of a triangle and you and your spouse are moving toward God, you and your spouse will be closer together too.

From timewarpwife.com

Ecclesiastes 4:12 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” You, your spouse, and God are stronger than just you and your spouse.

 

Obviously, there are about a billion other mistakes that you can make in your relationships, but these were just some that I have been hearing about recently, so they’ve been on my mind. I’m hoping that I will remember the mistakes that I’ve seen others make so that I can avoid making them in my own marriage!

 

Here are some of my other posts on relationships:

5 Tips to Reduce Arguing

Falling in Love

Not Everyone Experiences Marriage the Way You Do

Wives, Submit to Your Husbands

Featured image edited from eharmony.com 

You are Enough

Depression, self esteem issues, and negative self images are rampant. It is heartbreaking. 

I just want to tell you that you are worthy of love. You’re right, I may not know you, but that doesn’t change anything. I know that there is something special about you that the world needs. Every person has a purpose. You brings something unique to the table that no one else can. The world is made up of intricate connections between people, so it would truly function differently without you. You are important. 

You may feel broken, shattered, even. But every one of your broken pieces is beautiful. The journey you’re on is difficult, I’m sure, but it is leading to your beautiful story. And someone watching your journey could learn how to love themselves by watching you learn to love yourself. 

You will never be what everyone wants you to be. You’ll probably never even be everything that one person wants you to be! You’re not alone. No one can be everything for everyone. But you can be the best you that you can be. And that is enough. 

God created you. God has a purpose for you. Jesus died for you. And He knew every mistake that you would make and He decided to die to take your punishment anyway. He sees the depth of your pain and He wants to comfort you. He wants you to see that He loves you for who you are, no matter what has happened to you, what you look like, what mistakes you’ve made, or what life has thrown at you. He created you. He knows that you are worthy. He loves you more than you could imagine. 

Psalm 139:13-16

“For you created my inmost being;  you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”



Featured image from theodysseyonline.com