Praise Without the Criticism

I love to see people’s mushy posts on the internet about their significant others! I love to see other people being happy and expressing their feelings. I like to sweet pictures and kind words on the internet (especially since it is so rare).

I have a pet peeve with many of these posts though! I’ve probably even done this myself… but I’ve realized that compliments need to be positive and completely positive! These posts that bother me so much are the ones that say things like “you bother the heck

Image result for you annoy me but i love you scrubs

Photo from quotesgram.com. P.S. I love Scrubs.

out of me, but I love you!” or “we aren’t perfect, we have our fights, and we hate each other sometimes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.” How is this a lovey-dovey post?! I feel like you might as well say “we never get along and you’re kind of terrible, but we’re still together, so here’s a Facebook post.” Sure, maybe you’re getting the point across, but we can be so critical.

 

Maybe we say these kinds of things because we have a wall up. I know I do this. It shouldn’t be, but I think it’s seen as a weakness to completely give yourself to someone else and to show the full extent of your emotions. Or maybe we feel like we’re lying if we say something too wonderful about our relationship when it’s not perfect. (Don’t worry.. we all know it’s not. A perfect relationship is not possible). Or maybe we’re actually in unhealthy relationships… Hmm…

I’m often a very critical person, but I’ve really been trying to have a good attitude and be truly thankful for what I have. This means that when I give a compliment or talk about what I’m thankful for, I have been trying to be completely positive about it. It’s easy to tack a “but” on the end of a compliment or to say “I hate all these things that you do, but I still love you.” I try to separate these things. I’m not good at talking about things that bother me, but I believe that those comments should be made at the appropriate time (which I need to work on). When I am telling my husband that I love him, I don’t need to criticize him or put any “even thoughs” on there. He’s not going to feel love if I do! We remember the negative things said to us way more than the positive things! If I avoid the criticism altogether, I’m able to think of a lot more loving things to say in my posts or in a text to him.

The fact that these posts are on the internet for everyone to see is another reason that I don’t like the criticism in them. I don’t think that people that you barely know need to see all your dirty laundry. Not only could your significant other be hurt, but people are going to judge your relationship and try to get involved. But maybe that’s just my opinion. Maybe you like strangers on the internet getting in your business!

Image result for but that's none of my business

Photo from memecrunch.com

Obviously, social media is where we see things like this, but I know we talk like this in real life as well. And not only to our significant others. It could be to anyone! Including yourself (truth bomb!). We don’t give ourselves genuine praise either. It’s alright to love yourself! You’re allowed to feel good about who you are and what you accomplish. I feel guilty for thinking positively about myself sometimes, so I think of some things that I need to work on to negate my self praise. I’m going to try to work on separating my self criticism from my self praise and see if it makes a difference. I’m also going to continue working on cutting down on all criticism of my loved ones!

 

Share some genuine love, friends! Feel free to leave a comment with a love rant about a loved one or yourself!

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