This is just a post that will help you understand me a little better. I’m just going to tell you about my phobia! I am TERRIFIED of birds. If someone asks me to tell an interesting fact about myself, that’s usually it. Except, it’s really not that unusual. I actually know a lot of other people who are afraid of birds! Probably because they are evil, evil creatures.
When I was little, my grandma had a pet bird. I was talking on the phone and my grandma let the bird out of the cage and it got stuck in my hair. Ever since that day, I’ve been scared of birds. I think it got worse because my grandma didn’t understand my fear, so she would let the bird out of the cage while I was visiting. I would run and hide in the bathroom every time! I’m sure she thought I was just looking for attention.
So, fast-forward, I have a hard time going to amusement parks and the beach and sporting events because of all the birds. My anxiety goes crazy and I can barely enjoy myself. My family went on a little trip to a zoo and a baseball game one day when I was probably 16 years old. I spent the day dodging the tiny birds in the paths of the zoo, but that was nothing compared to the fear I felt when we saw the peacocks. The peacocks were roaming around in an open area with a ditch and a small fence. One came toward us. I backed up, but I was doing alright. The peacock hopped down into the ditch and jumped up right against the fence in front of me. I screamed, started bawling, and tried to run all in the same moment. It was pretty embarrassing, since everyone in the area surrounded me to see why I was screaming, probably thinking I was about to be murdered. But I didn’t even care because I was so terrified!
I love to go to the beach! I love the sand and laying in the sun… but I tend to forget about seagulls until I get there. My mom has spent the day chasing birds away from me, because she loves me. I have literally buried my face in my towel and cried for probably 10 minutes while a bird was too close to me. Mr. Rockefeller and I have not been to a beach together yet, so we’ll see how that goes when the time comes!! It might not be so fun for either of us.
As I talked about in my Being Married to a Hunter post, I like to do what makes my husband happy, which includes turkey hunting. We either walk or sit in a blind because I can’t bear the birds flying and landing so close to us when we sit. I’ve warned him that I don’t know what I will do if we actually see a turkey. I may just scream and he’ll lose his chance at it! He says that he wouldn’t be mad at me… we’ll see.
I know that my fear is ridiculous. You have every right to laugh at me when I have a standoff with a bird on the sidewalk because I can’t get any closer to it. I’m not even afraid that they are going to hurt me or of anything in particular, I just get a crazy amount of anxiety around them! I even get anxiety watching videos of birds flying or sometimes just a pictures of a bird (yes, I had a lot of anxiety choosing pictures for this post). I even have a hard time touching feathers. I can laugh at myself afterwards. If you don’t have a phobia, you probably just can’t understand how I can have such an intense fear of something that I know is completely illogical!
There is a treatment for phobias, which is exposure therapy. This would mean that I would be increasingly exposed to birds until I overcame my fear. I studied psychology, so you would think I’d be all about therapy… Nope. Not doing it. Never ever.
So, life is a little bit different living with ornithophobia, but I make adjustments and try not to let my fear show too much. I take alternative walking paths and I avoid looking up a lot of the time, but I know that it could be worse. So I suppose I’m thankful that it’s only birds!
Well, now you know a little more about Mrs. Rockefeller.
Let me know what your fears are!
Featured photo from http://athenacinema.com/the-birds/