A Female Who Is Not A Feminist

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Please do not assume that I am a feminist because I am a woman. I am not. At least not a feminist in today’s society.

Most people respond to this, saying something like “You don’t believe in equal rights for women? Because that’s all feminism is.” First of all, it seems to be a lot more than that. There’s a stereotype put on feminists that I do not want to be associated with. And second of all, I am happy with equal right for women, but I really don’t advocate for more rights or fight for them in any way; so no, I am not a feminist. I know a lot of people think it’s crazy, but I’m OK with where women’s rights are in our country right now.

I have no problem with women wanting to be equal with men. I get it. But I would like to see feminists fight for true equality, not just in areas where it is convenient. I know not all feminists are like this! But I feel that women are fighting against inequality in some areas, but just ignore inequality in other areas. My husband is going to a police academy. Women have to do considerably less push ups, sit ups, and a slower run than the men do to get into the academy. The standard should be based on what is required to do the job! If the women’s requirement is all that is really needed to do the job, then men should be able to get into the academy at that standard as well! I don’t see any feminists fighting for equality there. He did another job for the state previously and he was very frustrated at the hiring process. Women with less qualifications than the men applying for the same job are hired because they are females, and the state forces the department to hire them. That is not equality! If we want equality, gender should not be considered at all. Remember what you’re asking for when you ask for equality.

Modern feminists seem to be fighting for things that I just don’t believe in. I believe that abortion is wrong. I think it is murder. I think that there are alternatives for women who do not have ways to care for their babies or even just don’t want them! You made a choice to have sex, so you should have to deal with the consequences. Women are not asking for rights to their own bodies. They are asking for society and the government to tell them that it’s acceptable to harm someone else’s body to make their lives easier. Even women who have been raped have other options for the life inside of them, despite the child being a consequence of someone else’s actions. I know that feminists fight for a lot more than abortion rights, but it seems to really be at the forefront of their fight lately. This is one of the biggest reasons that I don’t want to be associated with feminism.

I also feel that issues facing women around the world are a lot bigger than the issues that we are facing in America. Sure, equal pay would be great (if this is even a real issue, not skewed by researchers). But if we care about women, let’s fight for the women having their genitals mutilated in Somalia and many other countries. Let’s fight for the education of young girls around the world. If you feel that you can bring awareness to your movement by publicly exposing your breasts and yelling in the street (again, I know this is not all feminists), I think you have plenty of freedom where you are.

A lot of issues facing women involve the fact that men physically harm women. Obviously, this is a problem! We need to teach our boys to respect women. Society emphasizes that it’s all about you and your happiness and you take what you want. It tells people that power is desirable and that you do whatever it takes to get you where you want to go. Nothing is your fault. No wonder there are so many men who think it’s OK to rape women. A man can blame someone else for the woman’s pain after he shows his power over her and takes whatever he wants. It’s a problem, but I don’t think that joining the feminist movement is the solution. Our young men need to learn how to respect women, handle their emotions, and learn that the world does not revolve around them. Our young women need to learn the same thing. It all starts at home.

Maybe one of the reasons that I don’t feel the need to join the feminist agenda is because I have respectful and respectable men in my life. My dad and my husband, in particular, are great men. I trust them with the power in our relationships. I don’t even feel the need to be equal to them because I would happily follow their lead. I am submissive (which I wrote about in this post). That’s just my personality. It’s easy for me to submit to my husband, so it is easy for me to see how well that works. Here’s an example: If I were not allowed to vote because I am a woman, my husband and I would discuss how we were going to vote, he would have the final say, and he would vote on behalf of our family and I would not likely be upset that I could not vote. I would feel the same way if I were not married and my dad would be the one to vote. If I had men in my life that did not respect my opinion, I would definitely care to have my voice heard! (Don’t have a cow. I vote in real life.)

So maybe the solution to the problems facing women in society are not going to be solved by marching, or by taking clothes off, or by loudly voicing your opinion, but by changing the way that we all view each other. If we keep our women’s rights, but bring back respect for each other and let women feel that it is OK to be submissive (maybe throw in a little common sense), maybe the problems would start to decrease (they’ll never disappear completely). Then we could focus on the bigger issues facing women around the world.


I could ramble on and on about this, I’m sure, but these are my somewhat unorganized thoughts for now.

Featured image from Timeshighereducation.com


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